


An Innocent Inner Conflict

by Anime_or_scifi



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Comfort, Fluff, M/M, Mentions of Abortion, emotions running amok, very mild angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-10
Updated: 2016-07-10
Packaged: 2018-07-22 16:56:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7446775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anime_or_scifi/pseuds/Anime_or_scifi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eren finds out the hidden message behind his most treasured childhood story and he can't handle it very well. The hidden message goes against his morals and trying to come to a conclusion of what he should do isn't as easy as it should've been. Luckily, he has Levi to guide him through times like this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	An Innocent Inner Conflict

**Author's Note:**

> A.k.a. This is what happened when a Facebook mom spewed her bullshit theory about Seuss and I got a little upset. 
> 
> I'm a dork who can't handle things very well and I have no conventional coping strategies, so this fic is basically me comforting myself through my otp. Sorry if this is really stupid. Enjoy?

Eren's lip quivered as he stared at his computer screen with his eyes burning with rage and pain. He felt so personally attacked and guilty, all because of some newly surfaced information about his favorite story that he'd loved and invested so much time in since he was a young boy. Even worse, he felt ridiculous for letting such a silly thing shake him so badly. It was only a story - a story meant for children, at that - but it was such a big part of his life.

He stroked the fur of his cheerful German Shepard, Titus, that laid beside him with a wagging tail and a head resting across Eren's lap. Not even his canine friend could lighten his sour mood. His eyes burned from the angry tears that had built up along with the bright computer screen. He wished he wasn't so emotional over such an insignificant thing.

'Get the fuck over it,' he mentally told himself. 'Quite being a baby and grow up. You know what the right thing to do is.'

It was Horton Hears a Who. Honestly, Eren shouldn't have felt so torn up about this, or at least he thought he shouldn't have. But he couldn't help it. It was his favorite story from his childhood; he'd asked his mother to read it to him every night. It taught him to stick up for the voiceless and to be mindful of those who needed help. That was a lesson he'd never forgot and thought about often. It inspired him to do volunteer work at a young age and continued to motivate him to keep at it years later.

And the story followed him as he grew older. He pursued theatre as a hobby in high school and currently worked at his local theater as part of the stage crew. He remembered the first time their director announced that they would be putting on Seussical the Musical and he remembered how excited he had been.

He hadn't voiced his glee to his coworkers - out of fear that they'd label him as childish - but it was an experience he would never want to forget. And since their first showing was so successful, they put on that show every other year. The experience earned him new friends who also loved theatre, and who were also fans of Seuss. And he'd dare not forget that he met the love of his life there. His fiancé, Levi, worked at the sound board for their shows, and during breaks they had gotten to know each other better and that's how they had 'clicked.'

Since then, Levi learned more of his personal love for the story and would use that knowledge to spoil him. Once, for Valentine's Day, he bought him a stuffed elephant, which Eren eagerly named Horton. Oftentimes, Levi would buy him shirts with prints of the story book's cover, that Eren wore as pajamas. And the year prior to this day, Levi took him to a theme park based on Seuss' stories, and Eren couldn't have been happier.

Eren was a grown ass man and prided himself for being able to make adult decisions and be mature when harsh situations called for it. But when life became too rough, or when things were falling apart, he'd resort back to reading his battered book from his youth or watching the film. As foolish as it sounded, it was a piece of his home, a gateway to his childhood, and a way to calm his nerves and forget the mundane or painful reality. It was where he turned to when he was hurting, and now he felt like that was being ripped away from him.

Someone had ruined his escape.

After aimlessly scrolling through social media, Eren had come across a link with the title of 'The Truth About Horton Hears a Who.' Being a fan as big as he was, he clicked on anything related to the story. He had no idea what 'truth' would await him. 

Apparently, someone had either discovered or theorized that the clover that Horton had found was a symbol for an unborn fetus. The post went on and on about how the story was one big 'pro-life' metaphor. Anger and betrayal flourished through Eren's veins and his stomach turned, making him want to vomit. 

That subject was a very touchy one; the right to abortion was something he strongly agreed with and fought for, especially considering his sister had gone through so much when she had hers. The process was hard enough on her without people condemning her in and outside of the family. He'd never change his mind about the subject for as long as he'd live and he'd always support anyone going through with that decision, no matter what their reason.

Now his escape, his favorite piece of nostalgia, was tainted. He felt so conflicted. He couldn't support something that had a hidden meaning that opposed one of his strongest beliefs. The simplest solution to him was to stop buying things related to the story and stop watching and reading it, but the idea was making him sick. He hated himself for having such a tough time coming to terms with it; his morals were far more important than a silly children's book. But that children's book had meant so much to him. In order to ease his pain, his instinctive reaction was to read the book to make him feel better, but he couldn't now. His only way of coping was now the thing hurting him and he didn't know how to deal with it.

He'd been so upset he hadn't noticed his fiancé entering their apartment and coming into their room. 

"Eren?" Levi called, walking towards the bed. "What's wrong?"

Eren ignored his question and slammed his laptop shut, startling Titus in the process. He crossed his arms and cursed himself for not keeping himself together enough to hold back a sniffle. 

"You okay?" Levi tried again.

"No," Eren spat, alarming Titus, who sat up at sniffed at Eren's face. "I can't watch or read Horton Hears a Who anymore."

Levi stared at him, puzzled, and shuffled over to the other side of the bed and sat beside Eren. "Why's that? What happened to your book and your DVD?"

"Nothing," Eren muttered bitterly. "I found out what the underlining meaning is and its fucking stupid." He flipped up the top of his laptop and set it in front of Levi to read. 

Levi scanned the passage, brows furrowing with each word. It was a ridiculous conclusion and he wasn't about to have it make his fiancé so upset. "Eren, are you going to throw this away because of what it used to mean decades ago?" 

"You know I can't support something like that," the brunet argued. "I can give this up, it's a stupid story."

"But you love it so much."

"I know, Levi!" 

Levi watched as the love of his life put his face in his hands, shoulders shaking over how upset he was. "What does it mean to you?"

Eren looked at Levi with suspicion. "Huh?"

"What does the story mean to you?" 

Eren rolled his eyes and pointed at the computer angrily. "You read it, you know what it means—"

"Not what the post said," Levi interrupted, shutting the laptop once more. "Before you knew, what did the story mean to you?"

Eren shrugged. "It meant helping others... I thought it was about standing up for people who couldn't do it themselves. But I was wrong..."

"You weren't wrong." Levi elaborated after he received a funny look. "It's a story. It's art, and people who take in that art may view it differently from how the creator intended. And that's okay."

"No, Levi. I'm not going to claim ignorance and go against my morals when I know the truth." Eren rubbed at his burning eyes, hoping to will away the sting. 

"Baby," Levi sighed. "Do you honestly think that Dr. Seuss wrote that book in the hopes that he'd make children believe that abortion is wrong? Most adults don't even pick that up when they read it. Even though his initial idea was messed up, his main goal was for kids to be entertained, you're still allowed to enjoy the book. His primary objective was make kids happy, not teach a bad lesson. If he had meant it to make people against abortion, he would've made it more obvious. He would've came out and said it. Also it's fiction; it's not something that actually happened that you're advocating for. It's an elephant with tiny people on a clover. It's only a story, it's not like you're voting for abortion to be illegal. Reading and enjoying the story just for the story isn't bad and you know what the right thing is. You don't have to boycott a children's book with a meaning that no one even knows about or listens to. Besides, no person who has had an abortion would hate you for liking this. Especially when you and most other people had no idea that that's what it was supposed to be about. Even if everyone knew what the author intended, it hasn't influenced anyone to agree with that point of view. No one reads a fictional story against abortion and thinks 'wow, maybe they're right.'"

Eren had to giggle at that last part, but it was short-lived. His frown persisted even after Levi's helpful words. 

"Look at Hanji," Levi went on. "They watch Fox News because it gives them a good laugh, but they aren't influenced by it one bit."

Eren's laugh was a little more audible this time, but his furious features returned rather quickly. "It feels wrong. I loved it so much... it was my favorite thing." He started petting Titus' head again, much to the hound's delight, but it only barely eased him. "I met some of my best friends because of it. I met you because of it. It was such an easy way to calm down when I got mad or hurt. It helped me so much... God, I'm such a baby." His jaw shut tight, along with his eyes.

Levi tried his best to come up with a solution, Eren really wasn't hurting anyone by liking something that was first and foremost meant for entertainment. Even if it was created with problematic flaws.

"Baby... there's two ways you can look at this. First, the reason why you're this upset is because you know better. You're not a bad person. You know that what the author had intended was wrong and you're not going to change your opinion just because you found out that's what he meant. You can still enjoy it as long as you don't act on the bad message. You've invested so much time in this and nothing harmful has come from it, whether it's happened to you or anyone else. You're not hurting anyone."

He waited until Eren finally looked him in the eyes before continuing. "Or you can look at it his way. Take something that's bad and use it for good. You remember my shitty uncle?"

Eren sniffled. "The sexist one who says really offensive things whenever he visits?"

"That's the one," Levi answered. "One time, he gave me two hundred bucks for my birthday. So, instead of refusing to take money from a horrible person, I took it and donated it to the shelter that we got Titus from." The dog perked up at the mention of the name. "And remember when Petra found out her favorite song was actually a song promoting racism? And remember how she used it to motivate her to make art based off of that song but used it in a way that created an image that promoted the exact opposite? You can turn this around too."

Eren looked up to him, a little more hopeful. "How?"

"Do what you've been doing. You're already being active in ways to support people who want or need abortions. And nothing of harm has happened from you liking Horton Hears a Who. Take that story that was written with ignorance in mind and use it like you always do. By letting it comfort you when you feel down or by letting it make you happy and go back to your childhood for a few moments. The important thing is that you don't stand for what the author stood for. And you're doing good things; you're doing your best. Don't let your favorite thing be ruined if it hasn't hurt anyone. So much good has come from this 'bad thing' already. So many kids are inspired and they're happy because of this story. Literally no one has taken it the way he intended. And look at all the things that happened to you because of it. Great things at that."

Eren stared down at his palms. He returned one hand to Titus after hearing a whine for attention. Levi had a point. There was a difference between supporting something inherently negative and enjoying something that's meaning could fluctuate depending on the viewers' perception. It truly wasn't hurting anyone; he couldn't think of a single one of his friends from work who were in Seussical the Musical who would agree with the 'original meaning.' 

"Are you sure it's okay?" Eren asked tentatively.

"Think about it," Levi said, grasping Eren's free hand. "The next time you read it or watch it or produce it for the theatre, how are you going to feel? I can't tell you what to do or think, but what will you think? When you read it, are you going to think about what you just saw on the internet? Or are you going to feel like a kid again with no responsibilities or things to worry about? Are you going to want to shame your sister or are you going to want to take a break from life to build a pillow fort?"

Eren's lips quirked up slowly. "... The latter."

"There you go." Levi smiled. He brought Eren's hand up to leave a gentle kiss on his knuckles, earning the sight of a flushed fiancé. "Once you're provided with art, it only matters what you do with it afterwards." 

Eren wiped at his eyes with the back of his hand one more time. "Thank you, Levi. You're right."

"Aren't I always?" 

Eren sent him a half-hearted glare, but broke out into chuckles before long. He gave Levi a kiss on the cheek before reopening his laptop and exiting his current tab, leaving that page forgotten. 

"How about we take Titus for a quick walk, then I'll read you that story before we go to bed?" Levi offered, threading his fingers in Eren's hair.

"That sounds nice," Eren beamed.

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: after writing this out, I googled it and every source tells me that Seuss wrote Horton Hears a Who as an apology to the Japanese and to teach children to stand up for minorities. However, I decided to upload this anyways because I might want to look back on it if a similar issue arises. I'm a huge baby when it comes to my fandoms or interests being 'ruined,' but the affirmations Levi gave Eren are all that needs to be said to get rid of my worry.
> 
> Special thanks to my beta who is super amazing and terrific for betaing this and making it better (and just being an awesome person overall) and special thanks to my best friend for reading this and telling me in all caps that it is indeed not stupid. 
> 
> If you liked this, please leave a comment or kudos to let me know, they're greatly appreciated! If you'd like to check out my tumblr, my art/fic blog is dr-s--art and my ereri/riren/color guard blog is the-witch-daddy. Thank you so much for reading!!!


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